Once upon a time, fathers started at a disadvantage in a divorce. The general assumption was that children, especially female ones, needed their mothers more than their fathers.
These days, most of society recognizes that fathers can also do a great job raising children, so judges ruling on custody cases are meant to start from a more neutral basis without any inbuilt advantage to mothers.
However, old beliefs can die hard, so fathers who want a significant share of parenting time may feel they need to go the extra mile when building their arguments to present to the court.
The findings of one researcher, Dr. Linda Nielsen, can provide ammunition for fathers in this situation and give food for thought to mothers who believe their children should spend the bulk of their time with them. It found that daughters whose fathers were a constant presence in their lives benefitted in the following ways:
1. Earned more
Daughters did better in their exams when their fathers were present. They were also better at judging risk than those women whose fathers had not been around much. This allowed them to be comfortable taking appropriate risks in business. All these factors helped them earn more.
2. Made better choices concerning men
Daughters can suffer when they lose the presence of their father and be prone to jump toward unsuitable men to fill that gap. If the father remains present, they are less likely to do this. Their increased understanding of risk also reduces the chance they enter risky relationships.
3. Had more emotional resilience
Dads tend to do activities with their daughters that don’t always turn out well. Having to bounce back from these mini failures, be it falling off a bicycle or watching a matchstick model collapse after hours of careful building, teaches daughters resilience. It better equips them to deal with the inevitable ups and downs of adult life.
Of course, each mother and father is an individual and parents in their own way, but the research found the above to be generally true. The most important thing to take away is that you and your spouse are each important to your child’s wellbeing. You each contribute different things, and continuing to allow that to happen after you divorce is usually best for your children.