Going through a divorce is a difficult experience for everyone involved. It’s crucial for parents to ensure they have everything set for the children, so everyone knows what to expect. One of the biggest mistakes parents make during this time is setting unrealistic expectations while their children are adjusting to the divorce.
Some parents try to soften up the household rules during the adjustment period because they think this will help the children, but it actually makes it more difficult for them. Children need stability so they can thrive. By setting the rules and upholding them from the start, you’re setting them up for success.
Consistency is the key
Children have enough trouble with trying to remember the differences in rules from one house to the other. The last thing they need is to have the rules in one home constantly changing. To prevent this from occurring, you should set the rules, expectations, rewards and consequences. It’s natural that they’ll evolve some, but this shouldn’t involve major changes to the rules constantly.
Consider working with your ex
If you and your ex can work together, you can come up with some major rules that apply equally to both homes. Some examples include:
- Homework must be done by a certain time
- Bedtime and the bedtime routine
- Curfew times for older children
Anyone going through a divorce should ensure they get the parenting plan set quickly. This should include the parenting time schedule and basic rules about the children. Working with someone who can help you to find solutions to the issues you’re facing can reduce the stress you’re dealing with during this time.