Parents sometimes have to make special considerations for holidays and other special events. For instance, some parents will trade holidays back and forth, such as saying that a child is with their mother on the Fourth of July and Thanksgiving, while they spend Christmas and New Year’s Eve with their father.
It’s important for parents to plan in advance and thoroughly communicate what is expected during these holidays. There are many viable solutions, including splitting holidays in half, alternating years or even having joint holiday celebrations for parents who are on amicable terms. But it’s important that parents and children understand what to expect, and they also need to know that these deviations from the normal custody schedule may take precedence.
Why could this cause issues?
For instance, say that a mother and father typically trade their children back and forth every other week. It’s a very simple schedule where they know that they will have custody of the children one week and their ex will have custody the following week.
At the same time, the custody schedule may say that the mother is supposed to have the children over Thanksgiving. Even if the Thanksgiving holiday falls during a week when the father would normally have custody, he has to deviate from that schedule and drop the children off with their mother.
This is part of the reason why communication is so critical. Conflict often arises simply because people don’t realize they have to do anything differently, and so they are shocked and surprised—such as a father who made Thanksgiving plans with his child without realizing that the custody schedule would actually be different over the holiday.
Whether making custody schedules or navigating conflicts, it’s important for parents to understand all their legal options.