Gaslighting is a phrase that’s used in numerous contexts. In a nutshell, it means manipulating someone to question their own perception of reality.
This is something that can happen between married couples, and it can often tread the line into becoming emotional abuse. What are some of the more common types of marital gaslighting?
Pretending something never happened
Most couples argue occasionally. Things may get said in the heat of the moment. What’s important is that couples address the issue and move on. One form of gaslighting occurs when a spouse completely denies that something was said or done.
For example, if, during an argument, a spouse says something mean to their partner. Later, when things have calmed down and the couple attempt to resolve the issue, the spouse may deny saying what they said. When this is done in an attempt to distort one person’s view of reality, this is gaslighting.
“I’m not the only one that thinks it”
A gaslighting spouse may attempt to bring others into the argument, even when they haven’t said anything. For example, a gaslighting spouse may accuse their partner of being moody all the time. To try and reinforce their argument, they may say things like “all our friends think you are too”, even when this is not the case. This is gaslighting and it’s also arguably a form of emotional abuse.
Over time, gaslighting can be extremely damaging for the person on the receiving end and the marriage. Abuse is not something you have to put up with, and the best option may be to look into divorce. Before making any final decisions, seeking legal guidance can be very helpful and informative.