During your marriage, you may have had a perfectly cordial relationship with your in-laws. Often, spouses are able to form very strong bonds with the other side of the family. Unfortunately, the divorce process can place great strain on these relationships.
If you have children, then your in-laws are still going to be involved in your life at least in a minor capacity. Thus, it is in your best interests as well as those of your child to keep hostility to a minimum. How can you go about doing this?
Embrace the change in dynamic
You may have spent time at your in-laws’ residence every week, for family meals and other social events. After a separation, it is unlikely that this will continue. Initially, your in-laws might blame you for the divorce after hearing the version of events from their son or daughter. Even if relations have not turned sour, it may simply not be practical to have you over all of the time. Your children will need clarity and routine to help them through, and your presence as it used to be might send mixed signals that the marriage might not yet be over.
Remember, they are parents, too
As a parent, you probably feel motivated to protect your children whatever the circumstances. It is important to apply this logic to the circumstances of your divorce. Your former spouse’s parent’s instinct to protect them is not necessarily a reflection on you.
Making the transition into life post-divorce can throw up many challenges, but these can be overcome. Having an amicable relationship with your ex and in-laws will probably be in the best interests of all parties, especially the children. As you plan for the future, remember that you have legal rights as a parent in New York.